Nashville, Tennessee. Home of the Grand Ole Oprey, Roy Orbison, The Predators, the 2007 Major League Baseball Winter Meetings and now Glen Sather’s footprint.
Rangers General Manager Glen “the savior” Sather (as dubbed by Steve Sommers) has taken over the Major League Baseball winter meetings. Tired of reading the constant rumors about possible trades, Glenn has flown down to Nashville to make actual trades. Within a span of 24 hours Glen has acquired Twins pitcher Johan Santana, Orioles pitcher Eric Berdard, A’s pitchers Dan Haren and Joe Blanton, Marlins’ pitcher Dontrelle Willis and third baseman Miguel Cabrera, Braves outfielder Andruw Jones, Texas Rangers third baseman Hank Blaylock, Blue Jay’s pitcher A.J. Burnett and Kobe Bryant of the Los Angeles Lakers National Basketball Association franchise. And all Sather gave up were much maligned defenseman Marek Malik and up-and-down defenseman Thomas Pock.
It was reported that teams were looking for a deal that included defenseman Paul Mara; but Sather was unwilling to give up the Most Valuable Mara. “What are you f’ing nuts?” Sather asked teams. In addition, Mara has a full no-trade clause.
When asked how he could get so many players for so little, Sather responded by saying, “THATS HOW I ROLL.” Then he loosened his tie, light up a cigar and got into a limousine with country music sensation Kenny Rogers. It was not known where the duo were heading. It is not known how the Rangers can fit all of these big contracts on the current salary-cap.