Archive for the ‘Heroes’ Category

Henrik is King

November 5, 2007

Who cares if the Rangers don’t score five goals a game?

Who cares if they even score two, if the King posts a shutout?

And now, we can be certain that Sean Avery is 100% healthy. His dive late in the 3rd period was a thing of beauty.

Going to be at the game tomorrow … will post after … probably.

Rangers win!

October 29, 2007

Big day for the big guns: a goal each for Dawes, Jagr and Shanahan.

Assorted thoughts:

  • Why does Renney insist on putting Jagr out in the last minute with a 3-1 lead?
  • Another solid effort by Lundqvist.
  • The Rangers ought to get Hollweg on the PK unit. It will cost them in the long run if they have to burn out their top players. Hollweg certainly has the speed to do it.
  • Dawes: A goal and no assists. HOCKEY IS A TEAM SPORT, NIGEL!

Authorities investigating cause of NYR’s Saturday night loss

October 15, 2007

Initial reports are vague, but it appears the supernatural is at work. At least 2 different sources have reported seeing Sylar, the super-villian from the TV show Heroes, coming out of the Ranger’s locker room shortly after the warm up skate Saturday night.

Sylar 2

Sylar, seen here after once again murdering, is known as many to be the worst super villain alive. He murders super heroes, and steals their powers. What was he after? Obviously, he was trying to steal the powers of the New York Rangers. It is still unknown how he weakened them Saturday night, but no one was unaffected. Some speculate memory loss, as most skaters on the NYR squad do not remember a series of events lasting no longer than 1 minute Saturday night. When we asked Captain America* himself, Jaromir Jagr, about this latest development, Jagr said “Why would the most powerful man on the face of the Earth be worried about Sylar? I will crush him!” Stay tuned to rangersin08 for all the latest developments!

*editors note: Jagr replaces the former Captain America, Steve Rogers, after he was murdered following the events of Civil War. Some speculate that Jagr, hailing from the Czech Republic (and the future) is not a true American. However, being the captain of the New York Rangers, which are red, white, and blue, makes Jagr the captain of the Red, White, and the Blue. Red, White, and Blue is America, so that makes Jagr Captain America.