Archive for the ‘RANGERS’ Category

MARTIN BRODUER AWARDED CHRIS SIMON TROPHY

October 14, 2008

Following the New Jersey Devil’s 4-1 loss to the mighty New York Rangers Monday night, the NHL announced that Martin Broduer, the popular adulterer who moonlights as a minor league hockey goalie, will be awarded the Chris Simon trophy for unsportsmanlike conduct.  The announcement came as no surprise to Ranger fans everywhere, as they are used to seeing Marty’s antics in the crease… although we only hear about his antics in the bedroom.

When asked for comment, Marty just simply ignored our reporter, much like he simply ignored shaking hands following the Devil’s thrashing last spring in the playoffs.

Since we couldn’t get a comment from Marty, we asked the world’s favorite goalie, Henrik Lundqvist, how he felt about the news: “It couldn’t have been awarded to a worse guy.  Marty cheats at hockey, as well as his marriage.  Its as if the Chris Simon award was made for Marty.”  When asked about how it is to lead the league in wins this season, Henry added “Wait until we play some real teams, I don’t know why the NHL even awards us 2 points in the standings for playing the Devils, aren’t they the Albany River Rats’ farm team??”  Henry then left to go meet up with some Swedish supermodels.

NHL Winter Classic: Classic, or forgotten?

January 1, 2008

Today at 1pm eastern time, the NHL had its first ever outdoor hockey game in the US. With over 73,000 fans packed into the home of the Buffalo Bills, everyone was asking the same question: Does anybody care?

You see, here at Rangersin08, we find it hard to label any hockey game a ‘winter classic’ without having the most classy team in hockey, the New York Rangers, a part of it. So when it was all said and done, after the snow had fallen and Sidney Crosby scored the shootout winner, the fans quickly exited the stadium, and television sets were quickly turned off. Rumor has it that the nation was gripped with excitement, hoping to see an appearance of the Czech Cyborg, or the Swedish Rock Star, but were let down once again by two lackluster franchises.

Steven Johnson, long time NYR fan, took the 6+ hour trip to buffalo for the game. When asked about the outcome, he simply said “Predictable, as is any game without the Rangers. There were no winners in today’s game, only losers.”

Emily Adder, a 9 year old Pittsburgh fan, drove up from Pennsylvania with her family and her best friend, Rebbecca. The two youngsters were excited about seeing their favorite player, Sidney Crosby, take to the ice in the winter weather. When asked about how it was to watch a hockey game in the cold, Emily said “Well, my family is from Pittsburgh, so naturally, its usually this cold every winter in our house when we listen to the game on the radio, I just hope Sidney can take it, he’s so delicate…” When our corespondent asked Emily about if she thought Henrik Lundqvist should have been involved in tonights game, she added “Even tho he plays for the rangers, me and Becca always take turns fantasizing about what it would be like to be saved by Lundqvist…” Alas, there was no saves in Buffalo by Henry on this day.

The nation will look forward to tomorrow night, as the NYR will take its 3 game ‘we’re the lord of the rings’ winning streak to western Canada, where they will defeat the Calgary ‘we should be called the calgary ice’ Flames starting at 9pm eastern time.

Sauron

The Rangers are shown above reaching for the Stanley Cup.

What the Rangers would be if they weren’t hockey players

December 28, 2007

Which Rangers Personality Type (RPT) are you?

Henrik Lundqvist – Talented, brilliant, popular, you still have a certain insecurity that requires you to hide behind a mask.

Petr Prucha – You work very hard. You do more than is asked. You have overcome many difficulties to get where you are today. And you still take nothing but abuse.

Nigel Dawes
– You often go unnoticed for long periods of time. Then, for a few days, you absolutely shine. Everyone falls in love with you. Then you disappear again, but you are not forgotten.

Michal Rozsival – A steady, experienced guy, you have recently started to show flashes of brilliance. However, you still focus on the little things.

Marcel Hossa – You’re quiet and mysterious. Nobody knows what you really are. Your famous brother gets most of the attention.

Dan Girardi – In spite of your youth, you are already considered one of the most dependable workers. You are a clutch performer.

Marek Malik – Much reviled and underappreciated, you try hard to ignore your critics. It’s getting harder, especially since it now appears that your boss is one of them.

Brendan Shanahan – Loved by all, you are immensely loyal and will take on bullies who are going after your friends. You also have a flair for the dramatic, yet are willing to do the dirty work. You have seen it all.

Blair Betts – You are often summoned during crises, and are willing to risk injury when necessary. You often go unnoticed and are not flashy, but you always get the job done.

Brandon Dubinsky – Though young and inexperienced, you have found yourself working with those at the top of your profession. There have been many growing pains, but those who know you have great faith in you. Recently, however, you have been placed back with the young interns to learn your craft.

Marc Staal – In spite of your youth, you have managed to contribute as much as anyone. Sure, there were growing pains, but with guidance from older workers, you were able to get through them amazingly quickly.

Scott Gomez – You put others before yourself. You love nothing more than helping a friend or coworker succeed. Sometimes this is to the detriment of your own success.

Martin Straka – You are well-rounded, with above-average ability in many facets but not extraordinary in any. Very dependable, you show up for work each day, even under the most difficult conditions.

Chris Drury – Similar to Martin Straka, but you’re paid more.

Ryan Callahan – The enthusiastic type, you have some tremendous spurts of productivity. You are trying to learn how to prolong those spurts.

Fedor Tyutin – You’re better than most. Keep it up.

Paul Mara – You try hard but sometimes let everyone down at bad times. However, you manage to escape major criticism, which is usually directed at 8.

Colton Orr – You are a hard worker who always is there when needed. If one of your friends are attacked, you will stop at nothing to defend them.

Jason Strudwick – See Colton Orr, but you’ve spent time in Europe. Not on vacation, mind you – you worked there. You enjoyed it, but wanted to come back home.

Greg Moore – You still need to prove yourself, but you have shown promise. Work hard, and the future is yours.

Ivan Baranka – See Greg Moore.

Sean Avery – You are a punk. You need to learn how society expects you to behave. However, you are witty and popular.

Stephen Valiquette – You are the underappreciated, hard-working understudy that hasn’t been able to make it to the top. Maybe one of these days, but time is running out. Meanwhile, you keep plugging away, and on rare occasions, you get a big assignment. You know, however, that you are just one step away from being in charge – unless management then feels they need someone better.

Ryan Hollweg – Very aggressive. You sometimes bite off more than you can chew, and your recklessness can prove costly – however, this aspect of your personality can also energize others.

Jaromir Jagr
– You are creatively talented and brilliant, but a bit immature. You work hard – when things are going well. You are easily frustrated.

Rangers win thanks to Ortie41

December 18, 2007

Way to go Rangers! Renney takes my suggestion and they roll 4-0 over Pittsburgh!

Tom Renney reads Rangersin08

December 18, 2007

Tom Renney is an avid Rangersin08 reader, frequently taking into consideration suggestions posted on this blog. Finally, he has decided to put one fo these ideas to use. After the recent post on Brandon Dubinsky’s unreadiness for the first line, he is moving him to a line with Ryan Callahan and Petr Prucha.

“Certainly, as an NHL coach, you want to be open to new ideas,” Renney told Newsday reporter Matt Teaux. “I look at blogs, newspaper articles, anything to stimulate new combinations and chemistry.”

Renney said that Rangersin08 is his favorite blog. “What Rangersin08 has done is establish themselves at the forefront of fan blogs with their intelligent ideas. They are devoted Ranger fans, and Ranger fans are the best fans in the world.”

Renney criticized the frequently anti-Sean Avery stance of Ortie41, one of the Rangersin08 bloggers, saying that Avery is a “great team player with great dedication to the game of hockey,” but understands that intelligent people can formulate different opinions, and that “this is the backbone of a free society.”

Get Brandon Dubinsky off the top line!

December 17, 2007

I like Brandon Dubinsky.

He seems like a decent enough guy. He’s tough and gutsy. By all accounts, he works hard and is coachable. But he’s not ready for the first line!

I can’t believe Tom Renney hasn’t noticed this. It’s apparent to all who watch the Rangers. He’s played 32 games for the team, scoring three goals, recording five assists, and has a -7 rating. That doesn’t cut it for a first-liner.

Dubinsky may mature into a top-six forward some day, but right now, the Rangers would do best with him in the role in which he started the season – fourth-line center. Otherwise Jaromir Jagr and Martin Straka might just go to waste.

How about putting Sean Avery between them at some point?

C’mon now, this is getting ridiculous.

December 14, 2007

The Rangers’ scoring woes have been much-documented this year. But surely none have cited the utterly frightening statistic which I am about to.

Former 30 goal scorer Petr Prucha and first-line center Brandon Dubinsky are on pace to fall short of the 2001-2002 scoring totals of … Sandy McCarthy.

Yes, that’s right. Sandy McCarthy, the former Ranger enforcer.

While fans were quite fond of McCarthy, they did not generally expect him to use his hands for scoring purposes. As enforcers go, he certainly could play, but come on …

While Dubinsky and Prucha are NHL-caliber players, the fact that two players the Rangers are counting on to produce offense are falling so far short of such a low standard is a problem.

Dubinsky, to me, projects as a second-line center if he improves his skating a bit more, but is not ready for more than a third-line role. Prucha needs to get more PP time, preferably on the ice at the same time as Jagr. He has shown that he can be deadly on the powerplay while playing with the captain.

Prucha, at least, should then be able to outscore Sandy McCarthy.

The best goalie in the NHL is … Stephen Valiquette

November 23, 2007

19 saves in the first period, including a number of truly brilliant ones. Who’s this Lundqvist guy anyway? Valiquette for the Vezina!

“FAN” Poll grossly innacurate

November 23, 2007

In a new fan poll posted on newyorkrangers.com, it states that Philadelphia is the biggest ‘threat’ to the rangers finishing in first place.

Fan Poll

Clearly, it sounds like shenanigans. The obvious choice, ‘none’ received only 7.88% of the votes. If 13320 true Ranger fans voted in this poll, it would be none by 100%. I feel as if the New Jersey Devils organization, and their leader, the dark lord Satan have something to do with this.

Satan

The backup goaltender for the New York Rangers is …

November 22, 2007

http://tinyurl.com/35ohb9

Anyone who can find the missing ‘e’ will be entitled to one dollar per goal Colton Orr scores for the Rangers this season.

So far, the reward is $1.