Posts Tagged ‘Kings’

Rangers lose to Calgary, decide to not alter history.

January 3, 2008

Last night, the New York Rangers lost to the Calgary Flames 4-3. Or did they? As everyone knows, NYR was on a 3 game winning streak, and Brendan Shanahan declared the NYR as ‘the lord of the rings.’ Now, we all know that LOTR is 3 parts, not 4. Rumor has it that King Henrik, last seen in the 3rd part of the trilogy, Return of the King, where King Henrik returns to the throne of Gondor, did not want to alter history.

“We all know how that story ends. I take the throne, evil is destroyed with the help of my hobbit friends, and I make sweet love to an immortal elf. Why should I change the way that story ends?” It is Rangersin08’s belief that Henry purposely tried to give the Flames the lead last night, just so the LOTR timeline went unscathed. While we all would have liked a 4 game winning streak, we have faith that our king knows whats best for his followers. When asked about the captain of the Flames, Jerome Iginla, Henry said “He’s the captain of the Flames? More like the Ice if you ask me. The only flames in Calgary were behind our airplane as we landed here this morning.”

King Henrik

King Henrik is shown above chillin’ with some royalty and showing off some bling after freeing Gondor from the grip of Sauron.

Calgary Ice

“Henceforth, the Calgary Flames will be known as the Calgary Ice” – King Henrik during his first state of Gondor Address.

Chris Drury Wins 329 Faceoffs In One Night…

December 30, 2007

Chris Drury has amassed a mind boggling 329 faceoff victories in one night on Sunday, a new record. This shattered the previous record of 70 by Montreal Canadiens Center Joseph Henri Richard set in 1973. The Rangers, ironically enough, defeated Richard’s former team by a score of 4-3 thanks to a breakaway goal by Brendan Shanahan in overtime.

Drury was winning faceoffs left and right Sunday night. His concentration and hand-eye coordination was impeccable and surpassed by no one. In addition to the 29 faceoff wins against the Canadiens, Drury was able to win 20 faceoffs in the Flyers/Panthers game, 14 faceoffs in the Kings/Blackhawks game and thus far he was won 16 faceoffs in the Ducks/Canucks game. The Ducks and Canucks are currently in the third period and Drury will surely add to his record total before the night is over.

Amazing enough, Drury’s night of faceoff wins was not finished there. He was able to win various faceoffs around the world. He won the faceoff of Herm Edwards and Eric Mangini at Giants Stadium, he won the faceoff between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton for the Democratic nomination, he won the faceoff between National Treasure and Alvin and Chimpmunks at the box office, he won the faceoff between the Jets and the Sharks on the westside, he won the faceoff between many married couples over the country, he won the faceoff between the Writer’s Union and Hollywood studios, he was able to win the faceoff between Doug Funnie and Roger Klautz, he was able to the win the faceoff between oil and vinegar (not even density could stop him), he was able to win the many faceoff between children fighting over the remote the control……he was even able to the the faceoff of “ALIEN VERSUS PREDATOR”

When asked about his unstoppable and historic night, Chris quaintly replied, “I just get into a groove and I get a few bounces my way, that’s it.”

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