Posts Tagged ‘New York City’

MARTIN BRODUER AWARDED CHRIS SIMON TROPHY

October 14, 2008

Following the New Jersey Devil’s 4-1 loss to the mighty New York Rangers Monday night, the NHL announced that Martin Broduer, the popular adulterer who moonlights as a minor league hockey goalie, will be awarded the Chris Simon trophy for unsportsmanlike conduct.  The announcement came as no surprise to Ranger fans everywhere, as they are used to seeing Marty’s antics in the crease… although we only hear about his antics in the bedroom.

When asked for comment, Marty just simply ignored our reporter, much like he simply ignored shaking hands following the Devil’s thrashing last spring in the playoffs.

Since we couldn’t get a comment from Marty, we asked the world’s favorite goalie, Henrik Lundqvist, how he felt about the news: “It couldn’t have been awarded to a worse guy.  Marty cheats at hockey, as well as his marriage.  Its as if the Chris Simon award was made for Marty.”  When asked about how it is to lead the league in wins this season, Henry added “Wait until we play some real teams, I don’t know why the NHL even awards us 2 points in the standings for playing the Devils, aren’t they the Albany River Rats’ farm team??”  Henry then left to go meet up with some Swedish supermodels.

THE CUP OF CHAMPIONS

November 10, 2007

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RANGERS VS. ICELAND-ERS TONITE

November 6, 2007

OOOOOOOH THE BABY, JEEP HUMMER 2007 METRO ICE CHALLENGE CONTINUES TONIGHT AS THE RANGERS CROSS THE OVER THE EAST RIVER TO LON GISLAND TO BATTLE THE SO FAR LUCKY NEW YORK ISLANDER SQUAD AND THAT CONCUSSION BEATING BASTARD CHRIS SIMON!! MAYBE ISLANDERS ARE BETTER OFF NOT HAVING RICK “DP: DOUBLE PENETRATION” DIPIETRO START IN GOAL TONIGHT. THERE IS NO WAY ANY GOALTENDER CAN COMPETE WITH KING HENRIK LUNDQVIST RIGHT NOW.

I AM EXPECTING A GOAL OUTBURST TONIGHT…3 MAYBE 4 GOALS….AND ANOTHER SHUTOUT BY HENRY. IT’S GOING TO BE A GREAT GAME FOR ONE OF THE BEST RIVALRIES IN ALL OF SPORTS!!

LET’S GO THE RANGERS!!!

WE WANT FISHSTICKS!!!!!!

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HERE A CLASSIC NYR VS. NYI HIGHLIGHT FROM THE 90’S…

Al Trautwig, Moment Killer

October 29, 2007

During the 2nd period intermission in tonight’s Rangers victory over the Tampa Bay Lightning, MSG legend Al Trautwig who is infamously known for parking his Acura MDX in the handicap parking spot and not tipping the omelet guy at the Kitchen Kabaret Fine Foods store in Roslyn Heights, New York, interviewed an 8 year old boy who suffered from kidney failure and needed a transplant from his mother.

Quite a touching story if you ask me. There is nothing more heartwarming then a mom being able to save her child’s life through such a selfless act. Seeing the smile on this kiddo’s face because he was simply attending a New York Rangers game, his favorite team, transcends how sports can impact the lives and raise the spirits of America’s youth. However this interview was ruined for me at the end when Trautwig, the moment killer he is, told this young boy to “live a long life.”

WHAT THE GOURMET TERIYAKI CHICKEN SANDWICH AL (reference for all of you Kitchen Kabaret lovers)??? You basically told this young boy, who was nervous and terrified about being on television to “NOT DIE ON US.” Geez Al, why didn’t you just come out and say “LISTEN LITTLE GUY, HOPEFULLY YOUR NEW KIDNEY WON’T FAIL DURING THE THIRD PERIOD, WE WOULDN’T WANT THAT TO INTERFERE WITH RANGERS POST GAME REPORT. HERE, TAKE A BRANDON DUBINSKY SIGNED PUCK!”

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