Posts Tagged ‘ryan hollweg’

What the Rangers would be if they weren’t hockey players

December 28, 2007

Which Rangers Personality Type (RPT) are you?

Henrik Lundqvist – Talented, brilliant, popular, you still have a certain insecurity that requires you to hide behind a mask.

Petr Prucha – You work very hard. You do more than is asked. You have overcome many difficulties to get where you are today. And you still take nothing but abuse.

Nigel Dawes
– You often go unnoticed for long periods of time. Then, for a few days, you absolutely shine. Everyone falls in love with you. Then you disappear again, but you are not forgotten.

Michal Rozsival – A steady, experienced guy, you have recently started to show flashes of brilliance. However, you still focus on the little things.

Marcel Hossa – You’re quiet and mysterious. Nobody knows what you really are. Your famous brother gets most of the attention.

Dan Girardi – In spite of your youth, you are already considered one of the most dependable workers. You are a clutch performer.

Marek Malik – Much reviled and underappreciated, you try hard to ignore your critics. It’s getting harder, especially since it now appears that your boss is one of them.

Brendan Shanahan – Loved by all, you are immensely loyal and will take on bullies who are going after your friends. You also have a flair for the dramatic, yet are willing to do the dirty work. You have seen it all.

Blair Betts – You are often summoned during crises, and are willing to risk injury when necessary. You often go unnoticed and are not flashy, but you always get the job done.

Brandon Dubinsky – Though young and inexperienced, you have found yourself working with those at the top of your profession. There have been many growing pains, but those who know you have great faith in you. Recently, however, you have been placed back with the young interns to learn your craft.

Marc Staal – In spite of your youth, you have managed to contribute as much as anyone. Sure, there were growing pains, but with guidance from older workers, you were able to get through them amazingly quickly.

Scott Gomez – You put others before yourself. You love nothing more than helping a friend or coworker succeed. Sometimes this is to the detriment of your own success.

Martin Straka – You are well-rounded, with above-average ability in many facets but not extraordinary in any. Very dependable, you show up for work each day, even under the most difficult conditions.

Chris Drury – Similar to Martin Straka, but you’re paid more.

Ryan Callahan – The enthusiastic type, you have some tremendous spurts of productivity. You are trying to learn how to prolong those spurts.

Fedor Tyutin – You’re better than most. Keep it up.

Paul Mara – You try hard but sometimes let everyone down at bad times. However, you manage to escape major criticism, which is usually directed at 8.

Colton Orr – You are a hard worker who always is there when needed. If one of your friends are attacked, you will stop at nothing to defend them.

Jason Strudwick – See Colton Orr, but you’ve spent time in Europe. Not on vacation, mind you – you worked there. You enjoyed it, but wanted to come back home.

Greg Moore – You still need to prove yourself, but you have shown promise. Work hard, and the future is yours.

Ivan Baranka – See Greg Moore.

Sean Avery – You are a punk. You need to learn how society expects you to behave. However, you are witty and popular.

Stephen Valiquette – You are the underappreciated, hard-working understudy that hasn’t been able to make it to the top. Maybe one of these days, but time is running out. Meanwhile, you keep plugging away, and on rare occasions, you get a big assignment. You know, however, that you are just one step away from being in charge – unless management then feels they need someone better.

Ryan Hollweg – Very aggressive. You sometimes bite off more than you can chew, and your recklessness can prove costly – however, this aspect of your personality can also energize others.

Jaromir Jagr
– You are creatively talented and brilliant, but a bit immature. You work hard – when things are going well. You are easily frustrated.

Some leading scorers

November 18, 2007

Rangers left wing Ryan Hollweg had an assist yesterday. That puts him in the upper echelon of NHL players. As evidence, here is a comparison of his numbers (0 G, 1 A) and salary ($500,000) with some other well-known NHLers.

  • Luongo, VAN: 0 G, 2 A, $6.5 million
  • Turco, DAL: 0 G, 2 A, $5.7 million
  • Osgood, DET: 0 G, 2 A, $800,000
  • Vokoun, FLA: 0 G, 1 A, $5.3 million
  • Brodeur, NJ: 0 G, 1 A, $5.2 million
  • Nabokov, SJ: 0 G, 1 A, $5 million
  • DiPietro, NY: 0 G, 1 A, $4.5 million
  • Kiprusoff, CGY: 0 G, 1 A, $3.6 million
  • Hasek, DET, 0 G, 1 A, $2.05 million
  • Fleury, PIT: 0 G, 1 A, $1.6 million
  • Toskala, TOR: 0 G, 1 A, $1.375 million

You see clearly that Hollweg is providing equal, or almost equal, production to all these well-known players for only a fraction of the price.

(Stats from nhl.com, salaries from nhlpa.com)

Two forwards coming back, who will sit?

November 16, 2007

With Martin Straka and Ryan Callahan coming back, hopefully soon; barring further injuries, who are the odd men out?

I nominate Ryan Hollweg to be the first, simply because I’ve never been a fan of his. As for the second? Well, I love Callahan, but he’s produced one point in eight games this year and isn’t quite the defensive player some of the other guys are. Maybe he’ll go to Hartford for a few games?

Your thoughts, viewers?

Rangers win!

October 29, 2007

Big day for the big guns: a goal each for Dawes, Jagr and Shanahan.

Assorted thoughts:

  • Why does Renney insist on putting Jagr out in the last minute with a 3-1 lead?
  • Another solid effort by Lundqvist.
  • The Rangers ought to get Hollweg on the PK unit. It will cost them in the long run if they have to burn out their top players. Hollweg certainly has the speed to do it.
  • Dawes: A goal and no assists. HOCKEY IS A TEAM SPORT, NIGEL!

Chris Simon: I’m a good guy. Everyone else just doesn’t understand me

October 13, 2007

Sounding like Christina Ricci’s character in the motion picture “Prozac Nation,” Chris Simon gave his best teenage girl impression today to reporters. “NOBODY GETS ME, I WISH PEOPLE WOULD UNDERSTAND WHO I AM!” Simon whined, complained and groaned today.

“I don’t remember what happened in the game against the Rangers last season, I had a concussion, I don’t recall what I did to Ryan Hollweg.” Simon proceeded to explain to a group of unimpressed reporters. “Sometimes my animal instincts take over, and I can’t control my body. I have an abnormally large and overactive limbic system; my amygdala and hypothalamus make me so aggressive.” For those readers who are not familiar with the neuropsychological functions of the brain, Simon basically likened himself to a primitive being. Islander’s team neurologist, Dr. Fred O’Stare, who was present for Simon’s press conference, heard the comments, simply shook his head and said, “Sorry Chris, it doesn’t work like that.”

“SEE WHAT I MEAN?? YOU GUYS JUST DON’T GET ME, EVERYONE IS OUT TO GET ME!” Simon screamed like a paranoid schizophrenic as he covered up his ears and yelled “I CAN’T HEAR THE BAD WORDS NOW, I CAN’T HEAR THE BAD WORDS NOW!”

When assured that it was OK to uncover his ears, Simon boasted about how great of a guy he is. “All my transgressions in my career are due to my concussions. I get concussed, and then I loose control. I don’t know what I end up doing.” Then Simon proceeded to explain some of his prior suspensions:

“Back in 1997 when I suspended for calling Mike Grier a racial slur, I had a concussion from earlier in the game. When I was suspended in 2000 during the playoffs for cross checking Peter Popovic in the throat, I had a concussion. In 2004 when I was suspended for jumping on Ruslan Fedetenko and punching him, I had just gotten a concussion. And when I was suspended for kneeing Sergei Zubov, guess what it was? If you guessed concussion , you’re absolutely right. After watching the video of Ryan Hollweg incident, I wasn’t swinging the stick at him; I was trying to show him the tape job on my stick. It was a perfect tape job, there were no air bubbles. I was just trying to be friendly and he skated into my stick.”

When a reported started to snicker, Simon exploded. “WHAT? YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME? HOW ABOUT I RIP OFF YOUR RIGHT TESTICLE AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT.” Then, Simon did his best impression of Robbie Ftorek, former New Jersey Devils coach, and threw a bench. After about 10 seconds of Simon seething in anger, Simon calmed himself down and apologized. “Sorry, I just had a concussion before the press conference.”

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