Posts Tagged ‘Shanahan’

Rangers lose to Calgary, decide to not alter history.

January 3, 2008

Last night, the New York Rangers lost to the Calgary Flames 4-3. Or did they? As everyone knows, NYR was on a 3 game winning streak, and Brendan Shanahan declared the NYR as ‘the lord of the rings.’ Now, we all know that LOTR is 3 parts, not 4. Rumor has it that King Henrik, last seen in the 3rd part of the trilogy, Return of the King, where King Henrik returns to the throne of Gondor, did not want to alter history.

“We all know how that story ends. I take the throne, evil is destroyed with the help of my hobbit friends, and I make sweet love to an immortal elf. Why should I change the way that story ends?” It is Rangersin08’s belief that Henry purposely tried to give the Flames the lead last night, just so the LOTR timeline went unscathed. While we all would have liked a 4 game winning streak, we have faith that our king knows whats best for his followers. When asked about the captain of the Flames, Jerome Iginla, Henry said “He’s the captain of the Flames? More like the Ice if you ask me. The only flames in Calgary were behind our airplane as we landed here this morning.”

King Henrik

King Henrik is shown above chillin’ with some royalty and showing off some bling after freeing Gondor from the grip of Sauron.

Calgary Ice

“Henceforth, the Calgary Flames will be known as the Calgary Ice” – King Henrik during his first state of Gondor Address.

Rangers win!

October 29, 2007

Big day for the big guns: a goal each for Dawes, Jagr and Shanahan.

Assorted thoughts:

  • Why does Renney insist on putting Jagr out in the last minute with a 3-1 lead?
  • Another solid effort by Lundqvist.
  • The Rangers ought to get Hollweg on the PK unit. It will cost them in the long run if they have to burn out their top players. Hollweg certainly has the speed to do it.
  • Dawes: A goal and no assists. HOCKEY IS A TEAM SPORT, NIGEL!

Dawes in the Doghouse?

October 27, 2007

Rangers fans are undoubtedly excited over their beloved team’s recent victory over the rival New Jersey. This feeling of elation can lead to a suspension of rational evaluation of the performance of the players.

Nigel Dawes scored two goals yesterday, leading the team to a 2-0 victory. On closer examination, however, this may be an indication of a serious problem: Nigel Dawes is a selfish player.

Take a look at his career statistics:

Games: 12

Goals: 3

Assists: 0

Numbers do not lie, and in Dawes’ case, the numbers reveal a selfish puckhog unwilling to pass. And some members of the Rangers’ coaching staff are taking notice.

“Yeah, Dawesy has got to pass the puck more. Look at guys like Shanny and Cally. They’re great goal scorers, but they’ll still dish the puck to their teammates,” said coach Tom Renney, revealing both his displeasure with Dawes and his proclivity for astonishingly predictable nicknames for his players.

The assistants were more blunt. Mike Pelino said that Dawes was “a selfish player.” Perry Pearn claimed that Dawes “is thinking only of statistics. He should help out his teammates.”

Renney suggested that Dawes try to emulate fellow Ranger Brandon Dubinsky. Dubinsky has never scored a goal, preferring to share the puck, as illustrated by his assist.

Selfish teams are rarely successful, and it only takes one bad apple. Look at the numbers. Nigel Dawes is that bad apple.